Rediscovered: The Devil’s Dictionary (Ambrose Bierce)
I sometimes have free time at my hands right now to read things that have been slumbering in the depths of my computer for a long time. And I rediscovered „The Devil’s Dictionary“, composed around 1900 by Ambrose Bierce and available for free in a horrible text format on Project Gutenberg. As one of my early ventures into search and replace with regular expressions and into LaTeX, I created a nicely typeset version of that, hereby to be put into the public domain. And some of my favorite definitions from it right here:
ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one’s self and to nobody else.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
TRUTH, n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn
CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum – whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum – “I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;” as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.— , http://j.mp/gmLTUn