Rediscovered: The Devil’s Dictionary (Ambrose Bierce)

I sometimes have free time at my hands right now to read things that have been slumbering in the depths of my computer for a long time. And I rediscovered „The Devil’s Dictionary“, composed around 1900 by Ambrose Bierce and available for free in a horrible text format on Project Gutenberg. As one of my early ventures into search and replace with regular expressions and into LaTeX, I created a nicely typeset version of that, hereby to be put into the public domain. And some of my favorite definitions from it right here:

ABSURDITY, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one’s self and to nobody else. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

TRUTH, n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum – whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum – “I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;” as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1906, http://j.mp/gmLTUn

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Datum: Sonntag, 10. April 2011 22:13
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